Fear

fear n. an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by expectation or awareness of danger

When asked what my religion is, sometimes, I have to stop and think. Though I am (and all of my family and relatives are) Catholics, I am somewhat different.

I grew up in a Protestant environment and at a young age, I started to question the faith of my family and the faith of the people in school. And with that, I had my own faith, which is not defined by just the Catholic dogma but also by those in which I grew up in.

In high school, most of my friends were Baptists. So then, I started questioning again. But even if the questions came with no answer, I still walked in the faith I believed in.

Then college came. I was admitted to an institution where religion is an option and atheism is common. I met more kinds of faith. I met those who doubt. I met those who don't believe.

That's when I realized that it's not about what sect of Christianity you belong to, it's your faith that matters. It's what you believe in.

To make things a little bit clearer, I have a story of a boy I knew in college. Here goes:

His name was Robin.

In high school, he was the campus hot shot. He was one of the most popular boys in school. But he can't fall in love with just anyone because of the constraints his church bestowed upon its members.

However, in college, he fell in love with a girl from another sect, a serious offense in his church. Their relationship was a secret for a long time. But when the time came when he had to choose between his love for the girl and the laws of his church. His fear of the church won. He left her.

Robin found a new girl in his church. They went out and eventually became a couple. He was happy. Or so he thought.

His ex, however, had a different story. She was devastated. But she turned to that one thing she had left. Faith. Not in her church. She has faith in something bigger than that. Recovering was hard but she put all her trust in her faith that the Higher Being will soon hear her prayers. Time was kind and eventually, her wounds healed. Now, only the scars remind her of all the hurt she went through because of the emnity between their churches.

She was going through her (relatively new) daily routines when Robin contacted her one night.

Robin asked if they could meet. She asked him why, everything between them is through.

Then he said it, he wanted her back. But not quite as a girlfriend.

There is the possibility that he still loves her. And it is not impossible for her to love him again. However, the problem still stands.

See, Robin is afraid to upset his church that he'll keep her under wraps to get what he really wants. But he's forgetting the much bigger picture. That sin is not committed against a church or any institution. Sin is committed against God himself. And he's forgetting that God can see everything. He knows everything.

Robin needs serious spiritual education.