La Vie Boheme (The Bohemian Life)

I never really thought of myself as bohemian. I mean, I look very mainstream, actually. Not just mainstream. Preppy, even. But what is the definition of bohemian, anyway?

bohemian – a person (as in writer or artist) living an unconventional life

Am I living an unconventional life? No. At least not before dark. Because once darkness starts creeping in, profession is set aside for passion. After watching Rent (movie), I saw in it many things that I wish I could do, I saw in it principles and ideals that I have, I saw in it a piece of myself.

To days of inspiration, playing hooky, making something out of nothing…

Did there ever come a time when you would think that whatever you’re doing right now isn’t supposed to be what you’re actually doing? It’s a time that the closest people in your life start questioning what’s wrong with you. That often happens to me. Well, often is an understatement. That happens to me all the time. People always ask what’s wrong with me, yet they never ask what’s wrong with them.

The need to explain, to communicate…

I hate explaining. For me, the highest level of trust is trusting without having to understand why. Something I wasn’t given the luxury of. I live in a world where I have to justify everything I do. And there are times I don’t want to justify. Because there’s no justification, and “I just want to” isn’t enough for an explanation.

To starving for attention, hating convention, hating pretension…

I don’t need much attention. I thrive well even without continuous supervision. Actually, I perform better when people just leave me alone to do my stuff. I hate to bend into what’s traditional, I want to do things my way. And that’s it.

To apathy, to entropy, to empathy, ecstasy…

Sometimes I just don’t give a damn as to what’s happening around me. I’ve had enough meddling with other people’s business to last me a lifetime. But there are times that I can’t help it especially if it’s my friends who are involved.

No way to make a living, masochism, pain, perfection Muscle spasms, chiropractors, short careers, eating disorders

I hate living in a world where everybody judges you by how you dress, how much you weigh and things like that. I specifically hate it during this one time when I had a crush in this boy. I wasn’t expecting much but what hurt me most is that the reason he didn’t want me is because I’m not pretty enough. Not thin enough. I don’t have a high-bridge nose or fair complexion. Well, I thought there’s nothing I can do about that. Later, I figured, there is something I can do. All those superficial things money can buy to make you look a lot better than you really do. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against beauty because I, too, am aspiring to be beautiful. But one important lesson I have learned is that beauty comes in different packages. There is no universal criterion for beauty. And those who don’t look beyond the skin, are people who choose to be blind to the things that a person can really offer. Whether that maybe what’s between her ears or her lungs, and not just between her legs.

Film!

One of my frustrations is becoming a scriptwriter for film or a maybe even a playwright. Ever since I was a little brat, I’ve been imagining story plots while looking out of my bedroom window. And up to now, one of the goals in my young adult life is to complete a script which I can submit in any scriptwriting contest. I even took film units in college just to quench my thirst for knowledge in that field.

Adventure, tedium, no family, boring locations, Dark rooms, perfect faces, egos, money, Hollywood and sleaze

Yes, I dreamt of making films. But from the shallow love stories with unbelievable happy endings, my storylines have changed over time. It has progressed into somehow relevant stories about families, societies and social classes in struggle.

Music!

I wouldn’t fall in love with musicals if I didn’t like music in the first place. When asked what my favorite genre is, I cannot give a definite answer. I like pop, alternative, new wave, retro, even non-secular. But what I love most is musicals because from all the genres I mentioned, songs from musicals are more emotional. After all these songs are actual conversations between people or an expression of how the character truly feels. Nothing is stronger than that.

Food of love, emotion, mathematics, isolation, Rhythm, feeling, power, harmony, and heavy competition

During my grade school days, one of my teachers asked us to bring a handkerchief big enough to be able to cover our eyes with. And with that, she told us to blindfold each other and start feeling the things around us, without seeing them. It was a wonderful feeling. I learned that sometimes, it’s better to see with your eyes closed, sounds are louder if you choose not to listen, and gut feel is strongest when you don’t feel a thing.

Anarchy!

In Los Banos, Laguna, traffic at around 4:30-5:30 in the afternoon is at its worst. Especially during Fridays. Maybe it’s because of the volume of vehicles trying passing on a very small road. But I don’t blame the vehicles. I blame the traffic enforcement. In the many times that I passed by that intersection, I deduced that if the motorists are left to sort things out themselves, traffic ain’t that bad. But once those yellow boys start implementing their system, be ready for a traffic jam. That’s when I realized that there are times that a society thrives better if there’s no organization governing it. Like DLRC. We have rules but there’s no government. Everybody has an equal voice, whether new or old. And we get by with it.

Revolution, justice, screaming for solutions, Forcing changes, risk, and danger Making noise and making pleas

Just a few days ago, I experienced red tape at its finest. Ask me where. The Land Transportation Office. Standing in line with countless sweaty males waiting for my turn in the photo booth, it’s not hard to imagine why our country is going nowhere. You have to hand it to the people in government. Earlier, when I was still lining up in front of the evaluator’s window, I was confident because I was first in line. But that confidence evaporated when I saw that the evaluator put my paper at the very last because it’s not folded, meaning there is no money inside. My driver told me what to do. I refused at first but seeing that my paper will not be going anywhere in the next hour or so if I don’t go with the flow, I hesitantly gave my driver a few bills to my papers move. From being number one in line, I became number 60. Pathetic.

To faggots, lezzies, dykes, cross dressers too

In my office, they cannot believe that most of my friends are either homo or bisexuals. I always tell them that I don’t really mind. Which is true. I’m not after a person’s gender. Being gay doesn’t make a person any less human.

To me! To you!

This world is a world of individuals. I believe that no two persons are the same. Not even identical twins. And with that, we can’t really box people into their classifications. Everyone always has a twist. Not because we dress alike, or talk alike or even look alike means we think alike and even if we do think alike there will always be one thing that will distinguish our individuality.

To people living with, not dying from, disease

Disease is not just physical. It’s also mental, emotional and spiritual. Sometimes, when we get hurt by people we love, it’s like a slow, painful death. But we always have choice. Let it control our lives and kill us or live with it and eventually get over it.

Let he among us without sin be the first to condemn!

What really pisses me off is when people criticize me with the things I do. And if I screw up, they always make it a point to push me buttons. There’s this person who always criticizes us in everything that we do, as if he’s the only person capable of doing the right thing. But the real deal is, even he is not in the position to say such things to us. Who wants his twisted principles anyway? And how dare he lecture us on what to do when he can’t even look us in the eye and tell us that he’s happy.

Anyone out of the mainstream? Is anyone in the mainstream?

Mainstream? What is the mainstream anyway? What does our culture dictate as mainstream?

Anyone alive with a sex drive?

Oh c’mon, we’re all adults here.

Tear down the wall. Aren't we all?

That’s right. We all are.

The opposite of war isn't peace. It's creation.

What does peace mean anyway? Not because it’s peaceful means that war’s over. Ceasefire doesn’t mean that war is over. For as long as there is no progress and people can’t live in harmony, may it be due to religion, caste, or politics, war isn’t over. And not because we are divided means that war is still on.

After all, everything is relative.

Now, can you blame me if I am so hooked to Rent? I’ll end this post with four words.

Viva! La Vie Boheme!

Rent (musical) written and composed by Jonathan Larson
Rent (movie) directed by Chris Columbus under Revolution Studios and Paramount Pictures.
Stills downloaded from ropesofsilicon.com