MYMP Madness (Love Moves in Mysterious Ways)

This morning, I decided to move my not-always-used shoes, most of them strappy high-heeled sandals, from my shoe cabinet to my bigger cabinet, since all of them are in boxes.

And to set the mood in my room, I popped in an MYMP CD (Versions) in my player.

To be able to make room for my shoes I have to move and remove some of my clothes to other drawers. The first drawer I tackled was the small one. The one with the most junk.

As I started digging in the drawer, I couldn't believe how it was able to hold so many junk.

My Sony Cybershot was there, so was a big bag of cottonballs, bra straps, a little tiara, old wallets, old passports, framed photographs from grade school, cellphone headsets, those little kits with toothbrushes and socks from airplanes and a battered white envelope with my name written in twirly letters.


I know who it was from. I know what it was. It's a blue card, given by a past love for our tenth month together. But I have forgotten what was written inside. For months (or almost two years), I avoided opening that envelope everytime I see it in fear of breaking down again. And as fate would will it, that accursed CD Player started playing the intro to one of MYMP's best revivals.

Who'd have thought this is how the pieces fit?
You and I shouldn't even try making sense of it



I can't remember how he gave it to me, or where. All I remember was the feeling of excitement and happiness when he did. It was like, nothing could ever keep us apart. Not his parents, not mine. Nor his religion, and definitely not mine. And though I know that if we want to make things work for us, we have to make sacrifices. And we were both willing to do so.

I forgot how we ever came this far
I believe we had reasons but I don't know what they are
So blame it on my heart



We rarely had fights. We were like two peas in a pod. Most of our interests are the same and we both have the same indespicable humor. Everytime we had an argument, we would just shrug it off and have a good laugh about it. People even think that we don't take each other seriously. Well, maybe during the first few months. But later, I knew that I loved him more than any other boy who stumbled into my life.

Love moves in mysterious ways
It's always so surprising
When love appears over the horizon
I'll love you for the rest of my days
But still it's a mystery
Of how you ever came to me
Which only proves love moves in mysterious ways



I thought we can sustain that "honeymoon" stage for long. But as much as we were alike, we were also very different. Our differences started to clash. From food, to how we want to spend our idle time, even to Thursday nights and Sunday afternoons.

Heaven knows love is just a chance we take
We make plans but then love demands a leap of faith

Since we got together, my Thursday nights have always been lonely. I rarely go out during those nights. Then he would call me at around 8pm and meet me at my house for dinner. Once or twice he asked me to come with him on one of those Thursday nights. I did once. And never again. I told him I wasn't ready to swallow a faith that I cannot believe in. I didn't tell him that I doubt I would ever be ready.

So hold me close, never ever let me go
'Cause even though we think we know which way the river flows
It's not the way love goes



After two years of being together and two almost break-ups, our relationship hit an all-time low. I broke up with him. I told him I cannot go on kidding myself that what we have will ever work. Not when he can't accept me for who I am and what I believe in. But as I walked away from him that night, he ran after me and asked if we can stay together till December. It was May. I couldn't bear looking at him crying like that, because I knew I still loved him, so I said yes.

Like the ticking of the clock
Two hearts beat as one
But I'll never understand
The way it's done...

December extended to our third year anniversary in March 2004, then towards summer, then till the semestral break. I started believing that maybe we are really meant to be. That maybe we can make it until after graduation. We started talking about spending our life together after graduation.

Then he talked to me one night, before February melted towards March.

"I know you want to get married in Claret Church. I know you want red flowers everywhere. I know you want all your friends to be there. I know you want your dad to be there."
I remained silent.

"I can give you red flowers and all your friends will be there, but not in Claret Church, or any of your churches. And if you marry me, your dad won't be there."

I nodded.

"You can't accept my religion, can you?"

I shook my head.

"I think this is the end of our line."

"I think so, too."

He walked away that night and I didn't run after him. I didn't cry. The pain was so great that I wasn't able to breathe for what seemed like eternity.

Now, eternity and a day have passed. Here I am, looking at the card that gave me happiness and excitement once upon a time. And how I fought to make that happiness stay in my life. And how I was able to let it go just like that.

The song ended. A new song started playing. Then another set of memories started flowing in. But that's another story.