Call Waiting

One sunny Sunday afternoon, just as the power was restored in our town (there was a power interruption that lasted for almost four days because of that accursed typhoon), I sat in my room, alone, listening to my current favorite musical (RENT), my mind started asking questions. Then, without really meaning to, I started talking to no one in particular. I don’t know if I’m talking to myself or to God.

Then let my body fall on my (very untidy) bed and that’s when I started asking God the questions my mind can’t seem to fathom.

Noah: God, why do I keep falling in like with people I can’t have? They’re always in the three untouchable categories.

Silence

Noah: Actually, ngayon ko lang nakumpleto yung three categories. Hindi ko nga alam na makukumpleto ko eh. Akala ko yung taken at gay lang ang pwede kong ma-cross ang line. Pati ba naman yung pangatlo? God, niloloko mo naman ako eh.

Silence

Noah: Kunsabagay, si ***** kundi ko nakilala malamang nasa isang magulong relasyon pa rin ako hanggang ngayon.

Silence

Noah: At saka kungdi dahil sa kanya, malamang hindi ko makikilala sina Rod at Leng.

Silence

Noah: Kahit na nasaktan ako nang sobra, having Rod and Leng in my life is worth it.

Silence

Noah: At saka marami pang ibang mga bagay ang nabago, ‘di ba?

Silence

Noah: Naging close ako sa father’s side ko kahit papano.

Silence

Noah: Kaso naman, God, pano na itong ngayon?

Longer silence

Noah: Ano naman ito? Nasasaktan ako. Masakit.

Silence

Noah: At saka God, pwede bang tulungan mo akong matutong wag nang maging bitter, kasi kahit na lagi akong nakangiti, alam natin dalawang bitter pa rin ako.

Silence

Noah: Ampalaya dapat ang pinangalan sa kin eh.

Silence

Noah: Sorry, naging agnostic ako for a while.

Silence

Noah: Pero masaya naman ako sa ginagawa ko ngayon sa Simbahan.

Silence

Noah: God, may calling ba ako?

Silence

Noah: Kasi pag nasa secular chuva ako, hindi ako masyadong masaya pero pag nasa Simbahan ako, masaya ako.

Silence

Noah: Naka-on naman ang call waiting ko. Kayo po ba yung nagbi-beep?

Silence

Noah: Tumatawag po ba kayo?

Silence

Noah: God, nasasaktan talaga ako. Tulungan mo naman akong mawala ito.

Silence

Noah: God, tawag na ako ng mama. Pakisabi sa kanya masyado siyang maingay.

Silence

Later that day, I was about to go out to look for food, when a pile of CDs caught my eye.

Yes!

That bright light went on in my mind. Another one of Noah’s corny ideas.

I reached for my stack of blank CDs and CDRWs then the pile of albums of my favorite bands and what-have-you.

To my dismay, JL came knocking on my bedroom door. He needs help with his Science chapter test. So help he got.

I am hungry but I am in no mood for food. But I am craving for ChocNut. I want ChocNut.

A little bit later, as I walked down the street, it was as if I was looking at it with different eyes.

Somehow, I knew why.